It’s been a minute. My bad. Life has been kicking my entire butt this whole year and I’ve been so busy bracing for impact that I haven’t had time to write any of my thoughts. I know I need to get back into writing though because I feel somewhat emotionally constipated and here is where I “release”. Graphic…I know. 🚽 😂
Back to the thought at hand…
I really wish people would take a minute to focus more on WHY they’re offended (by whatever) than the offense itself. That small moment of self reflection could change everything!
Now don’t get my wrong, it may not take away the offense but it can definitely help you get to know you a little better.
Today, I was walking through Walmart and a woman pushed her way in front of me. Everything in me wanted to say something, do anything! But instead, I took a second to ask myself..”
Self, why are you having visions of snatching her hair from the root?
Self to self: Because she CLEARLY saw me but she disregarded my entire existence!
Self to Self: Did she reeeeeally tho?
Self to Self: Uh, yeah!
Self to Self: Why are you REALLY mad though?
Self to Self: Because she….DANGIT! Because I absolutely HATE shopping during Christmas time.
Self to Self: Sooooo you were already ready for a fight before you got here. Huh?
Me: *Deep sigh*
I’m not in jail so obviously the greater good won.
I still felt mega disrespected but the truth was that I knew what to expect from shoppers during Christmas so I was already expecting someone to set me off. She just so happened to be the one. Was she still wrong? Yep! But had it not been her…it would have been someone else.
That was a small and shallow example but I’ve found that the cause of offenses can go so much deeper. Most of us never really explore our reasons for any feeling we’re experiencing, especially anger/offense because we immediately feel justified because of what the OTHER person did. But what about you? Who were you before that offense? Did that person just accidently step on a landmine that was there way before they ever met you?
If we would just stop and dig a little deeper we may find answers to our issues that stem from childhood traumas that can still be healed. Or stumble across underlying and easily avoidable preferences/triggers that we didn’t even know we had (ie…shopping in-store during the holiday season).
It’s that simple. It’s (also) that hard. But we got this!