So a lot has transpired since I’ve written my last blog. I’ll be sure to write about that soon enough. But for now, let’s focus on the topic at hand.
Needy? Or Nah?
So, my fiancé (yes, fiancé…just stay tuned to the next blogs…I will explain) and I were in the grocery store today following an AWESOME Youth Sunday. Both of us were exhausted and couldn’t wait to get somewhere to relax.
My mind: Let’s watch a movie together at my house.
His mind: Netflix and nap at home.
Same goal. Two different locations.
When he told me he wanted to go home I wasn’t a happy camper even though I know he loves his alone time and I respect his need for it. But sometimes a girl just wants to curl up on the couch next to her sugaplum until she drifts off to sleep and he taps her to let her know he’s leaving because the movie is over. But noooooo, he wanted to go hoooooome!
So as we’re standing there squeezing and sniffing cantaloupes to find the best one, I made the decision not to protest and let him go home but I was definitely feeling some-type’a way. 😒
If you’re not new to my blogs, you know I’m “somewhat” of an over-thinker. If you’re new to my blogs…Hi there…I’m an over-thinker. Prepare for the onslaught of thoughts. 😇
Anyway, I got home and analyzed what exactly I was feeling. His need to be alone was not new to me and neither was was the feeling I was experiencing because of it. Soooo…
OMG…Am I needy?
I’m a pretty objective person and I enjoy self-reflection…even when it’s tough to look at. I came to the conclusion that I’m not needy. I just needed attention.
So, why didn’t I just say that?
“I need attention”. Three words that aren’t used nearly enough in relationships but could be the very words that keep it from crumbling.
It doesn’t feel “good” to voice it because, let’s just face it, it makes you feel all needy and vulnerable. It’s one of those unspoken expectations that often cause you to seek temporary fulfillment from outside sources.
Don’t let it get there. Just speak up.
Vulnerability feels gross but it is absolutely necessary! Whether you’re male or female…tell your partner what you need from them. Communicate before resentment sets in! Your needs are valid.
My need for attention is just as valid as his need for alone time so an agreement was made. I explained my epiphany (lol) to him and expressed my need and he explained why he didn’t want to come over. He understood me, I understood him and felt so much better.
So with all that said…open your mouth and give him/her a chance to respond! You will be pleasantly surprised how well it can turn out!